Transcript: Ezra Klein Interviews Agnes Callard - The New York Times

AGNES CALLARD: Sure, so the basic game is an attempt to find some common ground with a new person that you meet in terms of interests or a place that you come from or people that you know. It establishes that we care about at least some of the same things.

The importance game is a game of jockeying for status, in which you try to be recognized by your interlocutor at sort of the maximum importance level that they can recognize you at. So you want to give them all the facts that they would need to see how important you are.

And the leveling game is a game of finding common ground in feeling unimportant. So you find a way to talk to someone in such a way that you can both share an experience of powerlessness or struggle. And in a way, it’s a way of deflecting from the importance game.