Bisarr trädterapi

Arbrecological methods involve handing over £25 to permit a trained professional arbrecologist *guffaw* to make a small incision in your skin and insert a seed that is specific to both your illness and personality. The process is tailor made to allow for the fact that of course, your personality might suit a splendidly honourable laburnum seed instead of one of those unscrupulous, fetid conifer ones... Once the seed is implanted, it develops into 'micro plants' that then feed on harmful toxins in your body.

In 2007 a Cardiff based Energy Healer, Krystal M. Betula, stumbled across a complete Latin transcript of the Liber Arborum. Her letters show that she had dreamt about a 'great power' hidden in a welsh University's Ancient Records Collection. After some support by a dishonest library assistant, she managed to remove the original manuscript and painstakingly copied and distributed it to a number of her psychic friends around the country. The original book, unfortunately disappeared with her unexpected death in a car accident two years later.